Yesterday I had a doctor's visit with a neurologist for our youngest child, and I wanted to share some of the wonderful advice he gave me. I am sure I am only one of millions of parents that look at their kids and say, "If only I had done that differently......maybe he or she would be ok. Maybe things would have turned out differently." In the words of the neurologist, "I can not scream it loud enough. To all women everywhere...IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT."
He encouraged me to let myself grieve. As parents we often have expectations for our kids, expectations of what will make them happy, what will make them successful. But with kids like ours what makes them happy is likely to look very different than what we may have dreamed for them. It's not easy to "swallow" the reality of what their lives may look like; will they be able to hold down a job, find love, live by themselves, will they be bullied. The greatest thing we can do for our kids is to give them the tools that they need to find happiness, whatever that looks like.
We are not our kids therapists or teachers, we are their mothers!
Lissa Best
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Our Family
My name is Lissa Best and I am the 28 year old mother of four beautiful kids ages seven, six, four, and two. Three out of the four kids have a genetic disorder which makes them severly delayed in speech, maturity, and cognative ability. My dear husband of 8 years works 80-85 hours a week to make ends meet and so that I can stay at home. Like so many millions of parents with special needs kids, it seems best most of the time to keep home as stable and predictable as possible and for us my staying home provides that for our kids.
As you can imagine our house is......busy!!!! Never a dull moment. Our three special kids do not comprehend what "wait" means or what "don't make a mess" means. Yes, if I turn my back(like I am now by writing this :-) ) the house looks like a tornado swept through. But as you all understand, special needs kids or no, we love them to bits!!!!
We also have some animals for the kids. It seems to calm them down and gives them a great opportunity to talk to their dogs for example.
I don't know if this blog will ever touch anyone's life but with all we have been through it is my greatest wish to encourage even one person that no matter what is thrown at us in life, we can find the strength to get through and hopefully in the end give our kids the greatest gift of all, happiness and joy. Not our idea of happiness but their idea of happiness.
To special needs kids and their amazing parents....you are jewels, you are precious, you are not forgotton or alone!!!
Lissa Best
As you can imagine our house is......busy!!!! Never a dull moment. Our three special kids do not comprehend what "wait" means or what "don't make a mess" means. Yes, if I turn my back(like I am now by writing this :-) ) the house looks like a tornado swept through. But as you all understand, special needs kids or no, we love them to bits!!!!
We also have some animals for the kids. It seems to calm them down and gives them a great opportunity to talk to their dogs for example.
I don't know if this blog will ever touch anyone's life but with all we have been through it is my greatest wish to encourage even one person that no matter what is thrown at us in life, we can find the strength to get through and hopefully in the end give our kids the greatest gift of all, happiness and joy. Not our idea of happiness but their idea of happiness.
To special needs kids and their amazing parents....you are jewels, you are precious, you are not forgotton or alone!!!
Lissa Best
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